What I learnt about Britain.

- There is not only one Scottish accent. It is likely that people in a different part of the city will have a completely different accent. And you won’t understand anything they say either.
- Ken is not Barbie’s boyfriend. In Scotland “ken” is used as a synonym to “know”.
- The most important part is to remember whether your friend is from England, Wales or Scotland. If you mix it up you can forget about a Christmas card.
- Do not get involved in debates about: Scottish independence, the EU, Margaret Thatcher or quality of local beer.
- British vocabulary does not include “no”. You can expect something like “not exactly” or “I’m afraid that is not possible”. To say simply “no” borders with anarchy.
- The royal family is a source of national pride and absolutely nothing can change that.
- Everyone apologises for everything to everyone. Even if somebody rides over you with a shopping cart you need to apologise.
- If someone doesn’t know where the Czech Republic is, they certainly know about Prague.
- It is good to mention you’re Czech straight away. You will get extra points for Vaclav Havel and Petr Cech.
- In February you won’t be able to tell whether it’s day or night. The sunrise is after nine and it starts getting dark before three in the afternoon. That’s why so many people living in Scotland drink.
- Andy Murray is Scottish when he loses. Once he starts wining he’s British again.
- British sense of humour is flawless.
- Hardly anyone in Britain looks like Colin Firth, Robert Pattinson or Emma Watson. That’s why they are in the movies.
- Local youth drinks as much as teenagers anywhere else in the world. However, they are tiny bit more aggressive as testified by nearly every street bin in Britain.

So much for my extensive knowledge of British culture, although I am pretty sure I forgot a lot of important and possibly life-saving points.