Scotch Mist, or / _

Scotland, fortunately, has been an oasis for European Bachelors with its refusal to charge astronomical tuition fees. There is also a fairly robust system of grants and research councils funding doctoral research. Right now, however, the conditions for Masters students are shamefully worse in Scotland than in England; the latter country offers a postgraduate loan of up to 10,000 pounds. Here, a European student can only get 5,000 – yet my tuition fees are 9,500. The Scottish Government has additionally put a strange restriction in place that means I cannot access this funding either, as I have been accepted onto a Research programme intended for students with previous knowledge of linguistics, as opposed to the Taught programme intended for other students. Loans aside, though, there is something perverse about my having to laboriously try and get tuition fee money together despite graduating with First Class Honours, while for others obtaining the same amount could be a question of a ten-minute phone call to their parents.

Up until last week, I had thought I might defer my Masters by a year, and take up a seven-month research position at my department instead. Perhaps I put too much faith in this plan because a past lecturer of mine encouraged me to apply. In the end, another candidate’s work experience won out. I had finally encountered the notorious dilemma: how does one get work without experience, and how does one get experience without work.

It’s looking increasingly likely that I might have to plan my own year: find a job, part-time at least, and get formal work experience, even if unrelated to my field; study linguistic literature and ideally conduct research independently; improve my skills and try out new hobbies. I think I can do all that: right now, I just have to wait for the mist of uncertainty to dissipate, so that I can clearly see the options before me.

I am genuinely sad to end my four years’ worth of entries on this note. I understand – and hope so does the reader – that this is nothing but a snapshot of the current situation. The horizon is sure to clear up soon enough, allowing me to plan the next stage of my journey. After all, Scottish weather is notoriously fickle. Maybe all that is needed is to ceremonially and ritually bring the current stage to its close, have a toast and feast.

The truth is that the reins of our lives are not always securely in our own hands. The reason I miss certainty now is that I had enjoyed so much of it throughout my studies thanks to The Kellner Family Foundation’s support. I have been extremely lucky in this respect, and I am happy to know that an institution with a genuine interest in helping people grow still exists in the increasingly brutal world of higher education.