Lifestyle or just a profession: How is it to be a spouse of an ambassador?

The presentation I want to mention was in a way very special. The Diplomatic Forum changed agenda that is dominated by men and they invited spouses of ambassadors from the Kingdom of the Netherlands Odilia de Ranitz, from the Federative Republic of Brazil Miriam Cecilia Azevedo Parga e Prata and from the United States of America Tamaru Newberger Shapiro to talk about their fascinating stories. Even the image of their everyday lives is usually distorted – by which Odilia de Ranitz humorously started the session. She asked us to have a close look on her from the front and the back and if we think that she spends all her time in the cosmetic salons, on manicure or by relaxation then we are all mistaken. Thus, I decided to share the undervalued story of ambassadors’ spouses with you.

As a first thing that all spouses had to underwent was to leave more or less everything, when their husbands became ambassadors of their country to abroad. By handing in one’s notice it just started. For example Odilia de Rantiz had to say goodbye to her professional career as a company leader. Perhaps because of the time distance, she answered humorously to my question, how is it to be mother and spouse of an ambassador living abroad in once by saying that in today’s world of video calls it is not so difficult - “I always told my children I am just one call away.” Though she acknowledged that during her stay with her husband in Saigon the commutation was a bit more difficult when “failed to send an email” was all the time popping up. Even though their stories differ, one they have in common. After saying goodbye to their families, relatives and friends they appeared in foreign country on an embassy, where no one knows them, and they do not know them and the language is also unknown. The buildings are furnished and only with what they have and can are trying to make a home atmosphere. Odilia de Ranitz added with a little giggle “and your husband, of course, is expecting to be welcomed with dinner.”

As one of the most important tasks of the spouses is to host guests and get to know people. Odilia de Ranitz continued with her memory of the first hosting – “everyone is looking at you, no one knows you, and when you introduce yourself, they still do not know. But as you say that you are spouse of an ambassador that changes the situation. As the time goes it turns into regular dinners, approximately 3 to 4 times a week. It can be sometimes very tiring, when the only topic everyone talks about is the one that only your husband understands.” Nevertheless, spouses of the ambassadors are still women who know how to solve problems. Odilia de Ranitz finished her speech by little story from Russia, where she hosted a dinner. “No one told me ahead that there will be no running water. So you simply solve it! I tool a bucket and went to neighbors for water.”

Wife of the ambassador of the United States of America Tamar Newberger Shapiro also took a chance to tell us her experience with the situation in which no one informs you in details about what is going to happen. “So I put on T-shirt and flip-flops and went into the car. No one told me that we are going to official opening, where documents were signed and of course photographers were not missing… Everything was later published and I received a message from my sister – what is your problem?” Soon someone asked Mrs Shapiro about the security measurements. She admitted that it is not so easy when you have all the time by your side guards. To some extent it limits one’s free movement. On the other hand, it will never be a problem to find a parking place.

Nevertheless, their roles are not just about organizing dinners, creating connection or supporting their husbands. Miriam Cecilia Azevedo Parga e Prata summarized her role as a wife as a mission in which you are trying to present the best about your country. Of course, every country has it dark and light side, like Yin - Yang. Furthermore, it is essential to be informed, because sometimes there is bad news, sometimes good news. Miriam Cecilia Azevedo Parga e Prata is apart from official duties trying to teach disadvantaged kids foreign languages and make them open minded. For Tamara Newberger Shapiro mission of a spouse of an ambassador is to attempt to contribute to and improve the country in which she is. As she said with a smile “Everyone will take your phone, come to a dinner, so why not to use it to one’s advantage to help and improve something?” Even though, many of us are unable to help in such a scale, we can all make good deeds – if you only let an only lady to side down in the public transport; if you only donate few coins to those who needs it; if you only for once buy the newspapers from those who are standing there for hours only to have a job; if you only let the bus to go from the station first and then you drive; if you only smile at the people around you … the world would be a bit better place.