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7. August 2019 Jan Krajník

Expectations vs Reality?

I still find it amusing just how much of difference there is between the blog posts I write during the semesters and the ones I write at the end of the year. In November and February I always find myself in a place where I am mostly negative and burdened by the stress from the upcoming exams. It is no surprise then that my posts, which should be mostly about me and my study life, are often a reflection of my negative mood. On the other hand, my June posts are the complete opposite. They are mostly overly positive and hopeful for future experiences. I like them better because they allow me to reflect more clearly and objectively about myself and my experiences. It comes as no surprise that I enjoy writing them more since people mostly don’t enjoy sharing their negative experiences as much as their positive ones. And for me every finished semester is a little blessing.

When talking about boasting and success I would love to mention that I had my- historically- best grade results. And even though they are far from perfect I am quite proud of them. I don’t exactly know if I deserved them, since this exams session seemed almost identical to my last one, but a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. My second success is that I “survived” Aberdeen without much physical and psychological damage. I find it quite ironic that I am only getting used to it once I am almost leaving. Lastly, I’m glad that I started to appreciate my field of study a little more because I realized that it is impossible to enjoy every single topic you learn, and I started talking about psychology with my friends and made an attempt to spend more of my free time on it, mostly through reading books outside of my curriculum.

When it comes to future, yet again it seems very bright, as it always does before the start of summer holidays. My mind is set on the fact that there is only one year left before I am finished and then I’ll start anew. Apart from that, I will be holding the position of a coach of the floorball team next year and moreover, my long wait to become a member of the Scottish league will hopefully be over as I will be allowed to apply as a player under the UKFF and finally play the sport I love so much. Lastly, there is my diploma thesis which will hopefully allow me to get some more real-life experience with psychology which I am also looking forward to. 

Almost traditionally by this point, I have a lot of expectations for the upcoming academic year. And it is this clash of expectations and reality that encompasses the joys and struggles of my life in Aberdeen. In the end, this year exceeded my expectations but the reasons behind this stay hidden from me. It might have been caused by my expectations being too low from the start, or by the fact that I actually did well this year- but I think I’ll never find this out. The only thing that I can do is to hope that both expectation and reality will meet at a point where they no longer contradict each other. 

Lastly , I would like to yet again  thank all the people that make all this possible. My biggest thanks belongs to The Kellner Family Foundation for their financial aid. I would also like to thank all the people that keep on supporting me and provide me with motivation which is much desired and needed. 

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